sarahcentric

I seriously almost typed “Thank God It’s Friday!”. But then I remembered that would make me the most boring person on earth. Thank God I’m Not Boring! Anyphway, just wanted to enter a few items into the public record before you all begin what’s sure to be a thrilling, cosmopolitan weekend. I know how suave and rad my readers are.

1) Waiting for my train at the, I could not help but hear a man on the platform yelling over and over at the top of his lungs, “I WANT PUMPKIN PIE! I WANT PUMPKIN PIE!” I would normally say he was mentally ill, but that’s clearly not true. Pumpkin pie is delicious and I want some, too. I also want chocolate chip cookies, apple pie, cider donuts. All of which I’ll wash down with graham cracker coffee. Pumpkin Pie Guy knows as well as I do that the fall is here. It’s time to cut the b.s., get comfy, and bake. In fact, I tried a new chocolate chip cookie recipe this week with whole wheat flour. They were good, I guess… except they kind of tasted like pencils. Weird. But don’t worry, I ate them.

2) The best song ever written and produced by a human being is “No One Ever is to Blame” by Howard Jones. I listened to it in on my iPod three times in a row yesterday during the commute. I am aware that this song may not be of the highest artistic value. But the harmonies are simple, his British voice is white and 80s soulful, and the lyrics…amazing.

You can look at the menu, but you just can’t eat
You can feel the cushion, but you can’t have a seat

Man, that’s a tough situation! A comfy couch and you just can’t sit down?! Howard Jones knows how to get into my soul!

The catchiness of the song is so strong I believe it’s borderline subliminal messaging. Last Christmas, my sister and I tackled the hell that is holiday food shopping at the local supermarket. We implemented a divide the list and conquer strategy to get through the insanely packed aisles. Just when I was sure that every shopper was going to start ripping their hair out, “No One is to Blame” came on over the store sound system. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that every shopper sang along. My sister and I reunited, stopping at home briefly so she could the use bathroom before heading out for more awful holiday errands. As I waited downstairs, I heard Howard Jones’ tune very softly, but distinctly from the family bathroom.

“Are you in there singing that song?!
“…yes…”

That’s the power of music.

3) I am writing a book. I’ve thought about this for years, but my refrigerator door was the spark that finally got my butt moving. I wish it could have been a little more inspiring like a visit from an angel or Dobby, Harry Potter’s house elf…but what are you gonna do. My butt and I headed to Staples to buy a bulletin board and lots of post-it notes so I can start mapping this sucker out for a book proposal. It’s a memoir from my college years until now. You’ll find it in the Mystery/Thriller section of your local book store.

When I told my friend I was starting a book and needed a bulletin board, he misheard. “What? An Embolism Board?!” I fear that by the time I really get into this it will cause an embolism…or thrombosis…or emotional coma. But whatever, it’s time. And you all have to hold me accountable.

I’m not a huge fan of The Secret. “Placing orders with the universe” feels a bit self-centered to me. But might I be so bold as to recommend more of an Amazon style Wish List for the universe? Why not just keep a casual mental list of the things that you really want in your life. Be sure to update every few weeks, notifying your friends and family when you do so. Get on that subway platform. Say it loud, and say it proud.

I WANT PUMPKIN PIE! I WANT HOWARD JONES’ GREATEST HITS! I WANT TO READ SARAH JACKSON’S BOOK!

I will let you know when you can pre-order that last item just as soon as I can.

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